Asperger’s, like all autism spectrum disorders, is very complicated. Complicated and confusing. And it is my belief that asipes like Kaitlyn benefit most from a cohesive family unit.
Before you stop reading and comment that I am Captain Obvious, think about it for a minute.
Part of Kaitlyn’s Asperger’s is that she thrives on keeping a pretty set routine. She is used to me taking her to school and Amber picking her up. She is used to Thursdays being Miracle days, and Saturdays being reserved for gymnastics. She is also used to a consistent approach to disciplinary expectations; she knows that Amber and I are on the same page, working toward the same goal for her regarding manners, etc.
Which brings me back to my cohesive family unit point. It has to be better for her that we are on the same page and live in the same house. Think about how many children who are living in two houses because of a divorce (for more on my opinion regarding divorce, click here). And think about how living in two places usually goes: in one house, there is one set of rules or expectations, and in the other house, a completely different set of rules or expectations. So what you have is no consistency. And that cannot be good for an aspie or anybody on the spectrum.
Kaitlyn is fortunate in that respect. She knows that no matter what, Amber and I are on the same page. Either one of us can leave town for a weekend with friends or for a family emergency, and know that they are not being undermined in any way. When it comes to raising an aspie, it really does take two parents pulling in the same direction to achieve maximum success.