I am sometimes quick to be tough on Kaitlyn when I think she is telling a lie. I think most parents are the same way. But I am starting to learn something about those situations.
Kaitlyn is not always, and is probably almost never, lying. That is not to say that she does not have it in her, because she certainly does. At her age, she is far from mastering the art of deception.
What I perceive as a lie is more often than not the truth as she sees it. When I ask her a question, she provides me the answer she thinks I want, or one similar to a correct answer that has been provided before. Her one and only goal is to make me happy. Or, there are the times where her response is the truth as she understands it to be.
I am not always patient enough to dig for the real answer, but when I do, I realize that her first response was not a lie at all.
Such behavior is common in children with Asperger’s, and it is up to the parent or caregiver to have the patience and ability to uncover the real truth. Reacting in a negative way only serves to cement her belief that every answer has to make me happy. That is not good and can keep Amber and I from properly correcting incorrect or inappropriate behavior.
We are a work in progress…