The entire purpose of this post is to try to make you feel uncomfortable while reading it.  I feel uncomfortable writing it.

The views expressed are completely mine, and any of the links included are done so for further reference, education, and perspective.

I wrote the other day about the word “stupid” being unacceptable in our house (click for more), and that Kaitlyn knows that she is not to use the word.  After I wrote, I got to thinking about other inflammatory words or labels that are too much a part of our everyday vocabulary.  I use these words more than I should in passing, only to realize afterward what I said; this is not a good thing.  I am making an effort daily to eliminate certain words from my vocabulary because there is no place for them.

Retard.  Stupid.  Idiot.  Cripple.  Slow (when used in the context of describing a person’s mental acumen).  Were those words as hard for you to read as they were for me to write?  I hope so.  My friend Ryan has a mission to eliminate the use of “normal” when it comes to decribing people, and I am quickly becoming uncomfortable with “normal” as a description for someone (you can check out Ryan’s work here).  He is also taking his readers on a journey through a book called The Power of the Powerless by Christopher De Vinck, and his discussion from this past week also deals with uncomfortable labels, and I encourage you to read it here.

Back to the words that made me uncomfortable to write.  When did these words become ok?  When is it ok to call someone a retard?  It is derogatory at best, and it is really mean.  It is never funny to call someone a retard, even if it is a laughline in a movie, like The Hangover.  What about stupid?  How does it make you feel when someone calls you stupid?  Makes me feel worthless.  Now imagine you are a child.  Idiot is the same thing.  How about cripple?  Do you feel superior when you call the person with the physical disability a cripple?  I know in the past I have used all of these words at one point or another to describe someone, and it is not something I am proud of.

I am making a conscious effort to eliminate those words from my vocabulary, and I hope you will, too.  Maybe I am becoming more aware of their hurt now because of Kaitlyn’s Asperger’s, or our participation in Miracle Sports, and if that is the case, I am thankful.  I look at those words and am disgusted to admit I have used them.  I know how I will feel the first time someone refers to Kaitlyn as a retard because her Asperger’s allows her to behave differently than others; I know how I will react when she is called stupid because maybe she has trouble conceptualizing basic math skills, even though she will be intellectually advanced in other areas.  I know how I will respond when someone calls her an idiot because she has trouble forming basic concepts, even though she can see all the small details.

I am proud to be joining Ryan in his goal to eliminate “normal” from everyday vernacular, and I would like to add those other words to his list of words that should go away.  I think we will become better as individuals and as a society when we begin to eliminate hurtful labels from people, and encourage everybody to reach their full potential and help them overcome obstacles along the way.  I am proud of the person that I want to be, and I am proud of the progress I make everyday in becoming that person.  I have a great support group helping me everyday in Amber and Kaitlyn, and Ryan has been a tremendous help as well.  What I want the most is for Kaitlyn to be proud of the efforts I make daily to become a better person, and the efforts I make daily to advocate for her and everyone else with Asperger’s or autism, or any disability.  The worst thing we can do is nothing, and I will not sit around and do nothing.